I had a lot of free time on my hands last spring. On January 15, 2019, I had a submuscular ulnar nerve transposition on the left side. You can Google that if you want, but don’t click on images if you’re squeamish. The summary is that my ulnar nerve, which controls my ring and pinky fingers, was getting pinched at the elbow, so my surgeon changed the path that the nerve travels. I have a surprisingly tidy scar on the inside of my left elbow – I was hoping for something big and nasty to show how I’ve “suffered for my art.”

I was in a heavy cast for 2 weeks, from my fingers all the way up to my shoulder. I could not go outside because it was January and my cast did not fit into any of my winter coats. In week 3, the cast came off and I graduated to a brace that kept my elbow bent, although my physical therapy involved painfully trying to straighten my arm several times a day. My left hand was so weak that I couldn't squeeze a tube of toothpaste. Luckily I am right-handed, and I learned to do all sorts of household tasks with only one hand. I can open a jar of peanut butter, put my hair in a bun, chop vegetables – I even taught a flute masterclass and multiple lessons with my left arm in a sling.

Even after I graduated from the elbow brace in week 4, I wasn’t allowed to play the flute until week 6. This is all a very long way of saying that I got used to having a lot of free time and being stuck indoors. Now here we are, over a year later, and again I find myself with a lot of free time while stuck indoors. I’ve already reorganized my pantry, my closet, and my garage; I’ve done my taxes; I’ve moved around the furniture to suit my tastes and my habits better; I’ve done a deep clean of the house from top to bottom. I’ve made my mom’s cheesecake recipe for the first time since 2006 and I finally made a no-knead bread recipe that I printed out in 2007. My mom sent me some of my favorite recipes from my childhood, and I’m learning to make them myself. I’m rereading my favorite book series, a set of 4 interlocking trilogies by Robin Hobb. I’m looking forward to reading the entire Harry Potter series again – in this time of uncertainty, I need to know what I'm getting myself into before I commit to a book. I finally framed and hung up my college and graduate school diplomas, only 10 and 8 years after graduation, respectively. I’m trying to embrace my empty days and find a project that focuses and invigorates me each day.

At this point I feel like I should share some wisdom or perspective that I gained from having all of this free time, but all I can offer is hope – hope that you and all of your loved ones stay healthy and sane during this pandemic, and hope that we can resume our normal lives in the next few months. For me, these cancelled rehearsals and concerts in my calendar make one thing very clear – the best musical experiences happen in live concerts, on stage before an engaged audience. Playing to an empty hall isn’t the same. It’s a two-way street, a dialogue between artist and listener. To our audience members, know that you are the heart and soul of our craft. You are the force that brings classical music to life. You give meaning to the hours of practicing and rehearsal, and you make every moment worth it. You are just as a vital part of classical music as the musicians on stage. We will see each other again. I look forward to the day that we make music together again.

Martha Long
Principal Flute, Oregon Symphony
Member of Arcturus Wind Quintet